Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
