i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
