She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
