I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
