Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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