he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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