Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
