You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize