A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
