Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
