I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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