I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
