its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
