He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
