I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
