i don't like sucking hair
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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