thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
