SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Holy shit dude........stairs
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
