the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
