so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
