Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How naked do you want me to be?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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