carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
