you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize