If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
