i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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