Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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