did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
