i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
