After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
