on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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