I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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