ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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