Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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