My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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