Non-Jews are for practice
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
