SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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