I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
