Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Randomize
