i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
