i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
