who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
