but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize