I got chris browned last night
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
