i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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