Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
