he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
