508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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