Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
