If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
