Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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