Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
