Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize