my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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