Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's never too late to be topless.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
