I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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