"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
