Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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