A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
