first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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