honey bunches of taint.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Randomize
