He uses pillows to masturbate.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
