Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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